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Houseguests 3: Taboo for Everyone
What a weekend it’s been! Going to bed with my stepbrother Willis after 25 years, talking him into taking my daughter’s virginity – his own niece! – and finally me being my nephew’s first woman.
It’s been amazing and hot but I don’t want any more secrets in this house, not if we’re to continue having fun this week. So I’m putting it all out there, making sure that everyone knows what kind of perverted debauchery has been going on.
My deepest wish is that this will lead to a family orgy…
Everyone sat and my brother frowned with worry.
“This sounds serious, Dana. What gives?”
“We need to talk about what’s been happening this weekend. I’m tired of treading lightly around the subject, compartmentalizing secrets like we’re trying to topple the KGB or something.”
“Dana… Are you sure about this?”
“Yes, big brother. It needs to happen. We’re only delaying the inevitable. We need to put our cards on the table.”
“Mom, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”
I smiled to Blair reassuringly. “Baby, there’s nothing to be scared about. I just think it’s time to put it all out there. Everybody knows what’s going on but nobody is saying anything. It’s really bothering me.”
“What are you talking about, aunt Dana?”
I closed my eyes one last time and steeled my resolve. Here goes nothing, I thought.
“Everybody in this house has been swinging with everybody else in this house. We all know it and we’re all pretending like we don’t, burying our heads in the sand. Let’s stop, okay? Let’s put it out there.”
As if on cue, Willis and the kids all bowed like they literally wanted to bury their heads in the sand. I came forward and sat at the table with them.
“Guys, that’s enough,” I said. “Let’s not be childish. God knows the things we’ve been doing have been anything but childish. You want me to spell out what everybody has been doing?”
Willis groaned. “Dana, come on…”
“I’ll start. Rudy, your dad took my virginity when I was 18. We didn’t really continue our relationship this way until this weekend. I’ve also been sleeping with Blair for a few months. We always have a great time together. Don’t we, baby?”
“What’s more, you lost your virginity with your uncle Willis yesterday, everybody knows that by now. And last night I seduced Rudy. He tells me I was his first time.”
At that, my nephew shriveled on his seat, embarrassment getting to him.
“How did you like it, son?” Willis asked. “She’s good, right?”